RABID SQUIRREL TIMES

Volume Seecks - Issue Eek

9-October-1999

 

 

EDITORIAL

I would like to begeen by sayeeng that I am most defeenatlee not Keeng Fuzzball the Almightee, and I have defeenatlee not taken over Slayer HQ. Therefore, thee master hunter ees not tied up at my feeet beggeeng for mercee. OK, glad wee have things sorted out.

 

 

TOUGH NUT

I beleeve thee information about me, sorree about Keeng Fuzzball, is incorrect on thee website. This ees the truth:

Name: Mee

Height: 80cm (a tall and noble figure)

Weight: 300g (muscular, but not fat)

Occupation: Keeng

Special Abilities/ Features: Perfection personeefied in a squirrel.

Background: I am good, I am good. I am the most respected leader ever, everybodee loves me, I am quite friendlee for an evil dictator, I have a passion for tea (four sugars), I plan to take over the world someday, I have personallee slaughtered almost three people, I am modest, I have a pet kangaroo (oh I forgot, I eat it), I am a savage fighter, and I have just worn out the 'I' and ',' keys on this keyboard. Aneeway, I'm sure you get the picture.

 

 

WHY YOU SHOULD SUPPORT THE RABID SQUIRREL PARTY.

Support thee rabid squirrels in the battle for world conquest, and you will reecieve a free blood-stained tee-shirt. Also there is no way wee can lose the fight against the pitiful humans. No-one likes losers, do they?

 

 

RABBIT HUNTING

I hate thee little bunnies, so I thought this article I receeved was veree appropriate:

This is the Vice-President PhD AbC EfG........ Here just to remind you that rabbit hunting season is nearly over so get killing those rabbits whilst you still can! And remember the person to kill the most rabbits will be promoted!

 

Dr L.Gaterell PhD AbC EfG.....

Vice-President

 

 

FINALEE

I would like to finish by saying th... HELP HELP THIS IS THE MASTER HUNTER - I HAVE BEEN CAPTURED BY FUZZBALL AND I FEAR FOR MY LIFE. I HAVE TEMPORARILY DISTRACTED HIM BUT STILL - PLEASE SEND THE TROOPS AROUND TO HELP MEeee....